Self Love In Covid-19

I remember a friend of mine telling me, “Alexus, the way you love yourself now won’t be the way you love yourself in the future.” At the time I didn’t get what she meant. I have always had a knowledge of self and loved myself for what I am and what I am not even on my hardest days. Selflove is a muscle and using it everyday has proven to be a must for me. Since Covid-19 ravished the nation, Self Love is more than a muscle, it’s a lifestyle.

As we are in unpreceded times, Covid-19 has slowed the world down. There is less interactions with friends, families, and even strangers. I miss the days when a stranger would wave, hold the door open, or give a smile. Though these are non verbal communications styles, they acknowledged my presence and being. No matter where I was I felt like someone.

My sister moved away to continue her education and my brother moved away because he felt like its was time him and his girlfriend take the next steps in their relationships. I moved to Bloomington, Indiana for a while to continue my education before Covid struck like it did. Now I am back home looking over my parents and taking care of my two dogs - Bella and Glen Coco and continuing my education virtually.

I wish I could say that Covid has brought my family closer, but with everyone moving away and starting their new lives, mines included I feel like it has drawn us father away. My parents are doing dates night and kindling their love for one another with is a beautiful thing to witness (I hope I love like they love).

Over the course of several months, those embracing moments have felt like they were ages ago. I found myself feeling like I was in a world by myself. Most people would say that you have to be their for yourself at all times which I agree. I believe that no single person is responsible for your happiness. You’re happiness is your responsibility- who you share it with and who you allow to influence and your choice. I found myself feeling alone like many other people in the world. I am extrovert and I lover of people no matter who they are. I found that the way I’m feeling didn’t just effect extroverts, it affected everyone. As humans we are social creatures meant to interact, engage, learn, and change one another. Since many of the social distancing, government shutdowns, and half capacity rules have been in place I found myself loving myself differently.

This different way of loving myself didn't happen overnight. From trying ballet to painting to writing letters to loved ones to becoming a blanket connoisseur I have found my love of self myself. As the pandemic continues, I continue to stay home and I found that loving yourself means loving your neighbor enough to stay away from them… never thought I would say that as a believer that in order in show love you have to be present.